Dear Chancellor Larive, Campus Provost/EVC Kletzer, and President Napolitano,
Throughout this campaign, graduate students have given testimony of their experiences trying to survive in Santa Cruz on the inadequate wages and funding we receive from this institution.
We want to give voice to these anonymous accounts to illustrate to administration and faculty how dire our situation really is. We also hope that by sharing these unedited stories, graduate students will realize that they are not alone in these experiences:
“I spend every single quarter making up for the debt I had to incur from last quarter. With our wages and expenses, all it takes is one ticket, one error, one small gaffe or speed bump on the road, and we end up falling off this marathon struggling to catch up. I’m tired of always feeling like I’m solving crises. I’m constantly on damage control mode. I drop a laptop, get my car towed, or have a few medical fees, and I’m perpetually in debt.
Only my first quarter here was decent, and every single quarter after that I’ve been struggling to make it. It’s absolutely directly related to my precarious living conditions. I spend most of my time working, but if I have any extra time, I spend it to look for grants and fellowships and any alternative means of funding and taking freelance jobs every once in a while. This is not ideal, I literally have no life and I rarely socialize because I’m constantly just trying to survive.
I’ve had 2 decent dinners this quarter, one of them was on a conference trip (I actually had no choice, my advisor invited us, his students/advisees) I would’ve preferred to just catch up on sleep, but I couldn’t say no to a free good meal. The other time I had a decent dinner was when I celebrated with my cohort for passing his QE. I paid this time, and it will be the last time I eat out until maybe my own QE or the next time I am forced to celebrate.
When I came to Santa Cruz to do my MA in 2013, I was paying $1,000 for rent. I graduated in May 2015, and I came back in Sep 2017 to start my PhD. I rented the same apartment (I was lucky), but I had to pay $1,450. By summer 2018, I was forced to move (the Seaside Company needed the property for their employees). I now live in a studio for $1,575, with my husband who travels frequently. We don’t share the rent expense, since I’m the one with the steady income and permanently here, but he takes care of other costs (like storage, internet, car, maintenance, and travel etc). I don’t know how I would survive all of this if it weren’t for us helping each other out in fact. We’re both artists and struggling to make ends meet.
My health has been deteriorating since my second quarter as a PhD student. Santa Cruz (and UCSC) was extremely different when I first came in 2013. I don’t recognize the city anymore, nor do I feel secure in an institution that treats me like a number rather than a teacher that goes out of their way to help students and give them all the support and attention they need. While I choose and accept the frugal academic life, this obscene situation, however, is not what I and many of my fellow grad students signed up for. I’m actually getting paid less than what I was getting paid in 2003 when I graduated from college, 16 years ago! Think about that one for a little bit. I think it’s extremely unhealthy to live in this state of mind that keeps me feeling stressed and uncertain how I can survive every week.
I gave up on having children, because I’m not financially or mentally fit for it. And I’m out of time, I’m 38. Think about this also. I can’t have kids because I am in a crisis, and I’m ill. I’ve been patient. I thought that with hard work, it will pay off. Be patient, you’ll get rewarded. Be patient, you’ll land fellowships and working opportunities. But I’m no longer kidding myself.
I know something about economics. I came to realize that things aren’t going to get better or easier with this salary. Doing basic math clearly shows that there is an immense inequality here… We are working hard, getting sick, and someone else is making money on our expense – be it the city or the institution. I used to keep asking “how is this sustainable?” I’m no longer asking that question, because I know the answer. It’s not. We’ve finally hit the dead-end.
These systemic problems took a big toll on me, my relationships, and my physical and mental health. I reached the threshold like my fellow grads. I didn’t sign up for this is all I know. And I’m willing to walk away and start new life in a different academic institution, or maybe not. I will have to figure it out, I’ll have to explore my options to find out what’s feasible. But this situation is no longer livable let alone sustainable. I have amazing work ethics, a lot of energy and passion to do good work, and I’m not at all hard to please. All I want is to live a simple and modest life as an academic who needs nothing other than her books, students, advisors, good health and a roof on top of their head. It seems like all I have right now are problems and crises, and I’m just physically and mentally demotivated and burnt out.
A fellowship will not help. A grant will not help. A second job will not help. I’m not looking for a solution that adds stress and takes up my time. If anything, I’m always being requested (by my own advisors) to take a break. The only thing that can keep me going is a COLA/pay increase. Otherwise, it is what it is. I can only do what is physically possible, and staying in Santa Cruz with this wage is simply not. Sadly, you know who I’ll miss the most? The students… I love them.”
These stories aren’t novel or surprising to most of us. And they shouldn’t be surprising to administration, who have completed multiple assessments of graduate student wellbeing. Administrators have ignored and dismissed their own findings, which demonstrate that it is impossible to survive on our stipends in Santa Cruz. We will not be ignored. We will not be dismissed. We will not wait. We will not submit.